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My league dating

My best friend is attracted to people who are good at practical, hands-on skills like carpentry or auto maintenance.The person who leaves me awestruck and weak in the knees usually just gets a “they’re cool, I guess” reaction from her.Or she might be totally uninterested in someone who looks, from the outside, like an ideal partner.When people are locked into the “leagues” mindset, these choices seem like they need to be justified and might avoid dating someone who others perceive as “beneath you,” even if you find them attractive and like hanging out with them – just because you don’t want to hear “what are you doing with them?”As much as we like to think of ourselves as independent, what our peer group thinks of us does matter.If you tend to be romantically interested in people who put a lot of effort into their physical appearance, you might discover that paying attention to your own style and appearance gets you more dates. Rejected by a woman in his league, or, god forbid, below it? If she’s not, then she’s a stuck-up bitch who thinks she’s too good for him.

If you’re continually drawn to people who have qualities you lack, consider developing those qualities for yourself.

I didn’t notice how much of the time I spent bored, or just doing date stuff because that’s what we were supposed to be doing.

Sure, there were some good times, but I didn’t have nearly as much fun with them as I did with my friends.

The idea is that one person is distinctly and recognizably “above” another person in these ways, so of course they wouldn’t date them.

As I’ve gotten older and had more dating experience, I’ve begun to think more critically about this notion of “leagues.” I’ve noticed that the assumptions I make, when I think of people in those terms, don’t hold up in the real world.

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